You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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