Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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