i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
this boner is exhausting
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
