He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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