; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
