Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
