brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
