I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize