All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I deserve this hangover.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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