my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Randomize
