Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
She tied me up with her honor cords...
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
