so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
