I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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