Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
