This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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