shes about as inviting as chlamydia
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
