So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
