I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
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