just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
