you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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