Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
