Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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