She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Randomize
