I look better un-naked...
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize