Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
