Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
