Already got asked if we're dating
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize