The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize