I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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