i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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