do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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