Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
