I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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