no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
