If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
