yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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