like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
