I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
