we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
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