There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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