Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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