Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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