Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
