i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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