i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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