I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
