this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
she told me i tasted like america
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
