I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
its not stalking. its research.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
