I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
