You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
