i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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