I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
