How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
