I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
