Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize