His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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