O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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