ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
