the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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