u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Randomize
