My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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