toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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