My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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