how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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