He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
We're too hungover to prance.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
