They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize