11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
