Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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