I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
