brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
