i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
