Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
