whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
