guys are not supposed to queef...right?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
i now understand why vodka
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
