I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
