grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
