people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
